Experience is what we learn from living. Experience is a great teacher if you are willing to learn and be aware of what is going on around you. We can learn from the experiences of others as well as from our own experiences.
What seems a failure can be ‘turned and learned’. Looking at the causes and learning lessons from a failure teach us what to avoid in the next attempt and so become learning steps on the road to to success
Learn & Turn Vs ‘Poor me’
How we react to failure is an option. It’s normal when something goes wrong to experience anger, regret, recriminations, disappointment, a sense of loss and even grief. Noticing and allowing our emotional reaction is part of a healing process. But a point comes when it’s time to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves down, move on and try again.
If we get stuck at this point and get trapped in “poor me’ thinking then this is a time to reach out and ask for help and support. Staying in ‘poor me’ mode is not an option if we want to live a fulfilled life. If at this point professional help such as counseling or psychotherapy is needed then do it! If we break a leg or get ill we have no problem in seeking medical support. A bout of mental ill health should be no different. There should be no stigma attached when someone is brave enough to say “I can’t do this on my own. I need help”.
There are some practical skills too. We can use self-inquiry to help tease out our ‘stuckness’. We can use the STOP tool to take a break and evaluate the situation. We can use the Learn and Turn chart below to examining our own experience, or even apply it to situations we observe as a way of teaching ourselves to build resilience for the future.
Learn & Turn Chart
|
My mistake or a mistake |
What I have learned |
What I can do to turn this mistake into an opportunity to change |
Justina Hurley 